” while avoiding my eyes. I look over his shoulder & see a gallon zip lock bag full to the limit with some of the best pot I've ever seen. I get kind of upset & yell at him “WTF! James I told u only important things damn it!” He gets the face of a scolded child & says “It’s not what you think man!” I say oh yea then what is it? He explains that if the world really is going to hell then we will need something to trade other people for things we will need later like more ammo, food, & gas. I calm down & say “Ok, I'm sorry for yelling at u then, I didn’t think of something like that.” He cheers up & says “Hey this is just for fun pot I have seeds for the trading pot we will need.” I look at the girls & they both are smiling from ear to ear so I give in & say “Ok I know when I'm out voted.” Everyone cheers happily & we finish unpacking. Now he might be a pothead but James isn’t stupid I see that he got more things I didn’t think of like his complete tool kit for working on the cars or. ”“Oh, I’m sorry, honey,” she said with a soft voice. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to, as depressed as you have seemed. I should have understood...”“It’s all right, mom...”“Yes, tonight,” she said, before one of the younger kids dropped something in the kitchen and that caught her attention.“Oh dear, what did mommy’s little rascal get up to now,” she said and got up.Later in the evening I was trying to read in bed again, but it was hard to concentrate for a variety of reasons. Mom knocked and entered, wearing the same nightgown. I had assumed she wouldn’t wear that. This must have been a sign of something. What, that was yet to be seen.Mom held my hand again. “You’ve been having hard time. I can see it. Sorry that I haven’t been much help lately.”“I’ve been thinking... um... about the last time,” I blurted out, avoiding her eyes.Mom sounded embarrassed: “I’m really sorry about that, I don’t know what I...”I did my best to explain my thoughts: “No, mom. I mean... I’m the one who should.
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